Pressing

So many things are pressing, persistent, tenacious, unrelenting.  My need to lower my cholesterol is pressing.  My desire to be done with this degree program is persistent.  The need for my house to be vacuumed, mopped, and sorted out is definitely tenacious; apparently, not strong enough for me to actually DO anything about it, but tenacious, none-the-less. My husband, Paul just obtained a building permit to rebuild the deck on the side of our house.  He informs me that he has 6 months to start this project and 2 years to finish it.  I am hoping this is more of a pressing issue for him then what that time frame suggests.

The pressing issue in my life, right now, revolves around five questions prepared by members of my committee and the 21 days I have to finish this comprehensive exam.  I must be persistent, tenacious and unrelenting in my studies in order to finish each paper in the 4.2 days allotted. Needless to say, I am a bit stressed; and tired; and relenting. 

When I finish a section of a paper and allow myself a break to listen to some music and clear my head for the next chunk of information I need to organize and articulate (complete with references in APA format because graduate students are not allowed to think without references.) I enjoy a song sung by Isa Couvertier called Pressing into You.  Here are a few of the lyrics:

I’m pressing into You

I’m pressing into You, now

Against You have I sinned

And done evil in Your sight

I’m pressing into You

I’m pressing into You, now

For with You there is forgiveness

For with You there is redemption

For with You there is healing

I love the oddness of these lyrics. Why would we go to Jesus when we have disappointed Him?   In my relationships with people I have sinned against, people I have hurt, or neglected, my last impulse is to seek them out.  I prefer to avoid them at all costs as seeing them reminds me of my sin, of my imperfection, of my failure.   We do not willingly face our faults. Yet, when we have failed God, the remedy is to face that failure and to face Him. Or perhaps to press our face into our Savior as a repentant child hides her face in the shoulder of a parent. 

The child does this because she knows she is forgiven and loved.

I have been writing about this very thing.  One of my questions asks me to explain and support five things I feel are most important in a school environment to promote effective learning.  One of the things I have identified is the willingness to face mistakes and the ability to learn from them.  This is an important motivation for short term learning, but a crucial one for long term learning.  We cannot grow if we cannot face and learn from mistakes. The way we face mistakes determines if we will try new things, or if we will continue to commit the same errors and fool ourselves into thinking we are doing well.  The way we react to failure determines if we will achieve or stay stagnant in our incompetence. While we certainly understand we cannot achieve the perfection we desire, it makes no sense to wallow in mediocrity and error.  Sin boldly and pray for forgiveness. 

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.   

Psalm 103: 1-5 (ESV)

When God talks about forgiveness, He often puts it in the same context as healing. He teaches us that to hide in the garden after sin is not what brings healing.  We need to come to Him, to press into Him, to be forgiven and healed. 

For me, this is an important lesson in this time of anxiety.  I know that I cannot answer these questions on my own.  I cannot pass this test by virtue of my own abilities. On my own, I stagnate and fail.

As I type, I make mistakes and spell check can correct only so many of them. 

As I answer the exam questions I can imagine the corrections offered by my committee members.

As I live, I sin, but, I press into Him and find redemption; and healing; and answers. 

Ian Alexander Loewe

Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to anyone. Lamentations 3:33

We said good-bye to a good friend this past week.  Our friend, Ian, struggled for life from the day of his birth; and struggled against death for half of his 15 years. 

In dying he did not lose that struggle; in death he won the eternal life earned for him through the work of our Savior. 

The body Ian lived in was falling apart and he was tired. His body was no longer a safe place for him to be. Our Heavenly Father came and rescued Ian from the destruction left by illness and treatment. The cancer took his body, but could not take his life.  God brought Him home to where he will always be safe; always be happy; always be fulfilled.  We cannot deny this joy to our friend Ian.

Ian did not fall asleep. This is a phrase about death that can bring comfort to adults and terror to young children.  The image of pain-free sleep may be comforting to us, but I do not believe this metaphor is accurate.  Ian is awake, now more than ever.  He is completely aware of God’s mercy and grace.  He stands in awe on holy ground.  We need rest from our sinful days.  Ian no longer needs rest. 

It was not God’s will for Ian to die. It is not God’s will for any of His children to die.  It was His will that we live a perfect life in the perfect world He created for us.  Our sin is the cause of our death. Sin is, in no way, a part of God’s will.

God did not take Ian’s life; He gave Ian eternal life and joy. Ian left behind pain, sorrow, and darkness.  God brought him to light, and the source of his faith.  Ian knows God fully and his earthly life no longer encumbers him. 

Thank you, God, for Ian, for heaven, for salvation and for grace.

For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. Philippians 1: 21

The still small voice

And he said, "Go out and stand on the mount before the Lord." And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper.  And when Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. I Kings 19: 11-13 ESV

Elijah saw God's power bring the Israelites through a climate drought, but when faced with a spiritual drought brought on by an evil king, Elijah retreated to the barrenness of the broom tree. He was ready to give up, both figuratively and literally. Believing he was the last person alive to hold to faith, he wanted to die in that faith.

God said "no" and gave him something to eat. 
 
God sent him to a mountain. Mountains put you in a vulnerable position and Elijah didn't even have a broom tree for protection. Standing on the mountain we can imagine that Elijah saw the enormity of God's power as he contemplated God's creation. Then as he felt the power of the wind, earthquake and fire, Elijah was viscerally reminded of God's omnipotence. 
 
It is interesting to note that Elijah does not retreat to the cave until he hears God's voice in the sound of a low whisper. His retreat is not out of terror, but out of fear. Elijah did not fear for his earthly life; he feared for his spiritual life. 
 
God's word has a way of killing us; it seeks to kill the old Adam in us. As strong as his faith was, Elijah's old Adam was a lack of faith. He knew there was nothing more that he could do to protect himself and his fellow children of God from the evil that surrounded them. He simply forgot that God did have that power and a plan. 
 
That small still voice was sent to remind Elijah of an unimaginable power. 
 
The graduate program that I am in has stretched me beyond my abilities and I have reached a point of constant reminder that I do not have the gifts to complete this journey. I am not smart enough. I can't do the numbers. I can't do the words. I want to quit while I still have some confidence left.
 
God says "no" and feeds me through His word and sacraments.
 
He says that now that I know I am not able to do this on my own I am ready.
 
What is the "impossible" you face today? Is your faith stretched to its limits? God will stand by you through the wind, the earthquake, and the fire and then God's law will remind you of His power; His grace will remind you of His mercy. 
 
Here is some food for the journey:
 
We need God because we are not enough:
 

Therefore, behold, I will again do wonderful things with this people, with wonder upon wonder; and the wisdom of their wise men shall perish, and the discernment of their discerning men shall be hidden." Isaiah 29:14 ESV

God is stronger than we can imagine:

For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men.

I Corinthians 1:25 ESV

God will be what we need:

I can do all things through him who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13 ESV

 

Distortions

When I saw this clip of distorted faces I knew I wanted to include it in my teaching for Educational Psychology. It is a great demonstration of how the brain is split into two sides that must find a way to work together. In this instance what is seen by the right eye and what is seen by the left eye are different so your brain tries to unite them as one image. The result is a distortion of the difference between the two, as your brain tries to reconcile the images and fails. When I watch it I continually want to take my eye off of the cross in the middle in order to check one picture or another. I find it interesting that my brain distorts the faces to such a degree that it no longer recognizes all of the pictures as photographs; they began to register as paintings. 
 
This illusion works because the faces are of similar size and placement so your eyes initially interpret this as a stereo vision exercise. When the two images don't match, the parts of the faces that are different seem exaggerated because they stick out. Our eyes, and our brains, are well trained to notice discrepancies, or differences. 
 
As Christians we live in a double vision world. There is evil and there is God. There is God's will and there is sin. There is the way we see things and the way God sees them. We try to make sense of it, and fail. The world distorts the values given to us by God. Some seem silly, others grotesque. Often what is cherished by the world begins to look normal to us. We see, but, we do not perceive. We do not interpret sin for what it is. The more sin distorts our view, the more distorted we become. This is not an illusion; it is reality. 
 
The blood of Jesus covers our distortion as well as the multitude of sins that cause it. Because of the saving work of Jesus, when God looks at us He sees perfection. Jesus unites our image with His so we once again find ourselves in God's image.
In watching this video clip, when you keep your eyes on the cross the images are merged. When you take your eyes off of the cross you can only see one image or the other. In our lives the cross must always be uppermost in our minds. When we look at the cross we see Jesus translating God's love for us and transmitting it to us. When we allow our eyes to stray from the cross, we can see only the world. This view can only serve to dull our senses and distort our thinking. 

You will indeed hear but never understand, and you will indeed see but never perceive." For this people's heart has grown dull, and with their ears they can barely hear, and their eyes they have closed, lest they should see with their eyes and hear with their ears and understand with their heart and turn, and I would heal them. Isaiah 6:9-10 ESV

 

Who wrote your operating system?

My studies in Ed/Psych have forever ruined YouTube videos as entertainment. I can rarely just watch one and laugh; I now find I must analyze it. Here is a clip of a baby with a magazine that I plan to show my undergrads. When I try to tell them that technology changes the way children think, they just nod and then pretend to ignore their phone. When we watch this baby try to move the pictures on a magazine cover the way she uses the tablet computer, then my words take on a new meaning.

As the video states, the technology in her world has wired her to perform a particular action in order to learn. This baby expects that when she brushes her fingers over something she will see a change; she understands that this is an action that will bring on learning because she can manipulate it and because it brings something new to her senses.

For most of us, when we were children, the equivalent action was to turn a page. Think of babies sitting contentedly with a cardboard book, patiently learning how to use finger and thumb to manipulate the page. Turning the page meant something new to learn. Just as uplifted arms mean seeking of comfort.

The things we encounter in our environment have a significant effect in directing our learning. If we spend the day outside with nature, we learn differently than if we spend the day inside on the couch. A small change early on, sets the direction of learning. This is one reason why the American Association of Pediatrics does not recommend media or screen (TV, computer, game) activities for young children. It is not so much as what they are doing, as what they are NOT doing, that makes the difference.

What we do on a daily basis influences and creates who we are. Let's put that in a more practical way: reading God's word on a daily basis influences and creates who we are.

Not only that, but in this way, the God who made us continually creates who we are. Reading, praying over, and reflecting on God's word, whether on a tablet computer or with the old fashioned hard copy, will make changes and bring learning. God's word is an app with guarantee:

"For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall My Word be that goes out from My mouth; it shall not return to Me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it. "For you shall go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and the hills before you shall break forth into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands. Isaiah 55:10-12 (ESV)

The reason God designed our brains to learn this way was so that we could continually adapt to our environment. A baby's brain, from before birth, is already preparing for communication. We know this because babies are born recognizing their mother's voice over other sounds. Likewise, the baby's brain begins to establish patterns for learning. Parents and siblings, as a source of information, become a guiding pattern. So does page turning, or more recently, screen flipping.

Adult brains work the same way. When God leads us to seek wisdom in His word, the action of reading makes changes in our brain that lead us back to that source of learning. God's word will not return to Him void. He set the stage for that learning from the beginning of our existence.

even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you. For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. Psalm 139:12-14 (ESV)

God has hardwired your operating system to seek His word and to learn from His teaching. You are His creation and He loves you.

Abba Father, Amen.

Know

I love this clip of the twin boys at nap time. As soon as I saw it I knew it would have to go into my lectures for my Ed Psych class, but I couldn't decide where.

Do I include it in moral development because climbing out of the crib did not warrant an "uh-oh" until mom walked into the room?

Do I include it in modeling because one twin learns enactively and the other vicariously?

Do I include it in problem solving noting that the brave twin re-thinks and finds a way to keep his actions secret?

I finally settled on motivation because one twin sees naptime as his fate and the other refuses the inevitable. My question to the class will be: "Which twin would you rather have in class, the one who is obedient, or the one who can think outside the crib?

I will let the students mull over that one for a while.

It is interesting how the twins understood the camera meant they were being watched. Of course, they don't realize, yet, that mom has other ways of knowing what is happening in the nap room. They might still be at the stage where they think if they cover their own eyes no one can see them. They certainly don't like to be watched.

O God, You know my folly; the wrongs I have done are not hidden from You. Psalm 69:5

My mother-in-law does not like to be watched, either. Her current cognitive abilities make it wise that she be checked-in on from time to time. I see her when I set up her meds, my daughter stops in when she goes to the studio to work and now the in-home aide assigned to clean her house needs to check on hygiene and eating habits. Understandably, Dorris expresses frustration with this series of events. Still, we do it, because we know it is what is best for her. Even though she doesn't like it, she probably understands that it is better than the alternative which requires moving to a place that can maintain constant supervision.

From when we are babies, until we are elderly, we require some level of supervision, for play, for work, for life skills. We don't generally like it; we usually accept it.

You know when I sit down and when I rise; You discern my thoughts from afar. Psalm 139:2

The Bible has 887 verses that include the word "know." Both reminders of what God knows about us and what He chooses to let us know about Him. The Bible contains everything we can know about God, this side of heaven. Even if we read it continuously, we will still only know an infinitesimal amount. And we can't know that without God making it possible.

God, however, knows everything about us. Because we grow up in a world that values "privacy" and because we know we have a lot to hide, this causes us much consternation. We want to move the camera, and hide our words, thoughts and actions from a God who is perfect.

It is better, I think, to contemplate the up-side to an omniscient God. He knows our faults; this is true. But, He also knows our sorrows, our joys and our needs. We may not like nap time, but it sure is nice to have someone who knows we would like some milk and a cookie when we wake up.

My God knows me and loves me in spite of that. My God knows me and provides for me before I even know I need it. My God knows me and knows His plans for me. My God knows me and died and rose again to take a way my sins, even before I was born.

Our God knows.

Be still, and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10

Ian has

I had my phone off because I was in a meeting. When I turned it back on, it buzzed letting me know what texts were waiting. I scrolled down the list until I saw the title of one that made me catch my breath.

Ian has

I didn't want to open the text and finish the sentence. I knew there had been an MRI to check on the reason for back pain. I knew there had been two previous devastating MRI results, one six years, and another three years ago. I did not want to see the reality that this fine young man was facing his enemy for the third time in his short life. I didn't want to finish the sentence "Ian has ______" as if not opening that text would somehow keep it from being true.

But, it is true. Ian has cancer, again. This is the third time he has heard this news, the third time he has had to rearrange his life, the third time he has had to face treatment and the uncertainty it brings.

Yes, Ian has cancer, but he has so much more. We can finish that sentence with better words that are just as true.

Ian has peace.

Peace I leave with you: My peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

Last Sunday, Ian stood up in front of the congregation and thanked us for our prayers. He took time to reassure us that he had peace about the diagnosis and treatment. This young man, barely a teenager, has the courage and presence of mind to share his peace with those of us who pray and grieve over him. God has blessed him with a peace we cannot even imagine and in that peace we see evidence of the gift of his faith.

Ian has prayers.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Hebrews 12:1-3

Ian has a huge cloud of witnesses surrounding him in this race. We pray for him, cry over him, cheer him on, and stand ready to help in any other way that is needed. Because of his premature birth, Ian has literally grown up in the midst of this cloud of people who love him and pray for him. He feels this every day in a tangible way. His courage in this race gives us evidence of the gift of our faith.

Ian has the promise of eternal life.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

In the light of Ian's challenge this verse takes on a whole new significance. He will not perish; he has eternal life. We pray the next 80 years or so of that eternal life are spent here on earth, but we know that he has eternal life, none-the-less.

Abba, Father, Please, send your hand of healing to your child, Ian, even as You bless him with peace, strength and faith. Amen, amen, amen.