Orchid Children

Paul pointed me toward a great article in the December 2009 issue of The Atlantic: Orchid Children, by David Dobbs. The article is his explanation of a recent collaboration between geneticists and psychologists. The basic point of the article is that most of us are dandelions; we grow just fine wherever we are planted. We just need the basics to bloom and grow. Some of us, though, are orchids; we need special care or we will wilt and die. The good news about orchids is that with a bit of tender loving care, they grow into exceptional people.

It seems that the same gene variants that can make us susceptible to depression, anxiety ADHD, risk taking, anti-social or aggressive behaviors, can lead to highly creative and successful lives, if the right care is given. Whether or not the genes will lead to depression or creativity has a great deal to do with the child's life experiences and what care was received during formative years. In the past we have only seen the behaviors of depression, aggression, etc. as being a deficit; we have never seen them as being potential for greatness. Yet, the evidence is strong. I can think of several highly successful people who didn't adjust well to their school environments (Einstein, Edison, F.L.Wright) and many many creative people who suffered from depression (Lincoln, Dickenson, Van Gogh) or other mental illnesses. We have assumed that these negative behaviors, or conditions, are only negative, but maybe they are the reason for the success of these individuals.

The article describes a research program that studied toddlers who had issues. They studied children who had high levels of externalizing behaviors. "Externalizing behaviors" is nothing but a fancy way of saying these kids whined, and kicked and refused to obey. It is known that toddlers with especially high rates of these behaviors are more likely to have difficulties later on. The research program showed that when the mothers of these children were given specific techniques to use and training to detect when a fit was about to happen, that when they applied these techniques these children made huge progress in being able to self soothe and stay calm. The mothers found that if they persisted they could teach their children to enjoy activities, like reading a book together, which previously was deemed impossible. It took a lot of work, perseverance, patience and love, but the result was these orchid children bloomed.

Apparently you can undergo a genetic test to see if you carry these specific genetic alleles. I don't think this is a good idea as I believe all children should be raised as orchid children. In fact, I believe in God's eyes we all are orchid children. We carry the gene for sin. We follow our own whims and lead ourselves into trouble. We persist in trying to get our own way even in the face of God's wisdom and plan. We are all orchid toddlers, whining and kicking and screaming through the trials and tribulations we cause ourselves. Others lose patience with us, we even lose patience with ourselves, but God perseveres.

God's love covers a multitude of sins. He applies law as we need it but never hesitates to shower us with Grace. He knows that alone we have no potential to do anything right, much less anything exceptional. He knows that through the redemptive work of the Son and through the faith giving power of the spirit, we are exceptional in His eyes.

A parent's love for a difficult child covers a multitude of behaviors. When that love is correctly and gently applied, God creates a change. My husband, Paul, expressed this beautifully in his song "Love Covers a Multitude."

Remember today, that we are simultaneous dandelions and orchids. God can create growth wherever He plants you. You are forgiven and loved. You are exceptional.

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms.

I Peter 4: 8-10

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

I Corinthians 13:7

Green Eggs and Homer

When I was little I used to wonder if my Uncle Homer was Dr. Seuss. I suppose it was the last name of Eggers and the whole green eggs and ham reference, but, it was probably a little bit due to the fact that Uncle Homer was just as I imagined Dr. Seuss would be like: kind, loving, funny, interested in kids as if we were real people, and plenty goofy when the situation called for it. Now, that I am old enough to know better, I still suspect that Uncle Homer was an even better Dr. Seuss than the real one.

When I went to family reunions I would always look for Uncle Homer. Now don't get me wrong, I loved my pastor uncles and wonderful aunts; I admired their vocabularies, their discussions, and many accomplishments but, you see, Uncle Homer was interested in me. He would put his hand on my shoulder and ask me. . .really ask me, how I was doing. Because of the wonders of Grace and Homer, I very much wanted to be like their children, Tom, Susan and Nancy, when I grew up. I hope I am, at least a little bit.

When I think of Uncle Homer and Aunt Grace I am reminded of a particular characteristic: humility. Homer and Grace did not boast. This was not a surprise because those of us who teach know that the people who brag are usually the ones who are least secure. They feel the need to remind people of their importance. They worry they might be deemed insignificant if others aren't hearing about them or imitating them. No, Homer and Grace did not boast. Still, they didn't put themselves down, either. The folks who criticize themselves in front of others aren't any more humble than the people who boast. It doesn't really matter if you are bragging or dragging, you are still thinking about yourself. Homer and Grace showed humility because they didn't feel the need to be thinking about themselves. They were too busy thinking about others. They were too busy loving others. They were too busy doing the work God set before them. In this way they showed us what it means to be a servant.

A few days ago, Jesus came, put his hand on Homer's shoulder and took him home to heaven. I am imagining him holding Grace's hand and looking into the eyes of his Savior. I know that both Homer and Grace went to heaven very proud of their children. I know both Homer and Grace will be missed. And, because of their humility and love, I know my Savior's love a little bit better.

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Romans 12:10

However, as it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him"— but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. I Corinthians 2:9-10

Doors, cats and blessings

Our cat, bless her heart, cannot abide a closed door. She may avoid my office all morning, but as soon as I shut the door I see her paw poking around underneath. She is especially intrigued by the bathroom. Most cats that have taken up residence with our family have learned to avoid the bathroom. While there are rolls of toilet paper presenting interesting entertainment possibilities there are also several serious water hazards to contend with.

This cat, however, cannot walk past the bathroom door without inspecting the other side. She is especially curious if the door is open just a crack.

Can't. . . .walk . . . .past . . . .must . . . .get . . . .in. . . .somehow. . .mew.

We have noticed that she has not been able to figure out the door for this particular room. All she has to do is lean on the door, ever so slightly and the wonders of the bathroom are hers for the taking. All she has to do is lean on the door, yet she still reaches her paw around the corner in order to gain entrance, which only serves to move the door toward closing. It is a curious game.

Apparently, in this house anyway, cats and their owners are easily entertained.

I wonder how often I am that cat trying in vain to open one of God's doors for my life? The door is open; all I have to do is walk in. Still, I struggle with the door, certain that there is some trick I must perform to gain entrance to my God and His gifts for me.

Hmmm, maybe if I try my other paw? Nope, that's not working either.

Grace, forgiveness, mercy, unconditional love, they all sound too good to be true. Is God really going to give me all these things without my earning them first? Has He really gone to the trouble of leaving the door ajar so I have complete and easy access? My faith knows the answer is a resounding yes. Yes, God loves me no matter what I do, or what I neglect to do. Yes, Jesus reaches out with His nail scarred hands to forgive me over and over and over again. Yes, His Spirit lives in me, nurturing my faith and reminding me of His grace and mercy. My faith says yes.

But my pride says no. No, I need to do good works to stay on the right side of that door. No, I need to worry over my own troubles because God is too busy to bother with me. No, I need to complete a list of activities that will result in advanced Biblical understanding and superior prayer performance. My pride says no, no, no, because in my pride, I think it really is all about me.

And yet, the door stands ajar; my Savior on the other side with open arms of comfort and love. God's plan for my life progresses even while I waste my time trying to pull at a door that doesn't even need pushing.

Our daughter Anne has walked through one of God's doors. The opportunity to teach at a local Catholic school was presented to her. She spent the previous week getting the room ready and living, breathing, sleeping curriculum. This week the teaching has begun and as her family we are the beneficiaries of many good stories about her students. She is learning how to share God's love while being careful not to step on Catholic toes. She is learning to love her students. She is feeling God's love. I am so very glad she has walked through that door and stepped into the beginning of the ministry God has planned for her.

"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!

Matthew 7: 7-11

I am the door. If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture.

John 10:9

There is so much goodness to be had by leaning on that door and walking in.

Stress and unbelief

I read a book over Christmas break by John Medina called: "Brain Rules." John Medina is a brain scientist but this is not a neuroscience kind of book; it is a normal people kind of book. It was my vacation, after all.

I was especially interested in the chapter on stress and the brain. Stress can be good for the brain or it can be bad for the brain; it depends.

Research is like that. Welcome to my world.

Stress is good when it is short term. Chemicals are released in the brain to enhance performance. One famous example is a group of high school students taking the SAT test while a hurricane raged outdoors. The testing company assumed they would have to toss the scores and do a retest. The scores turned out to be higher than expected. Even though the students were worried about family and traveling home, they still did better on the test than expected.

Don't even get me started on high stakes testing in our schools.

Stress is bad when it is chronic. When you are under stress for a long period of time, those performance enhancing chemicals can interfere with your ability to learn and can cause untold harm to your brain and body. People who provide long-term care for chronically ill loved ones have shown us this phenomenon.

The other curious thing about stress is that one person's performance de-enhancing stress is another's performance booster. The event itself is not the stress. Stress is more likely to be damaging if the person experiencing the event views it as adverse. Running a marathon, although physically tiring, would be an enhancer for some. For me: not so much. We are talking major de-enhancing stress.

A big part of stress is how we view the situation, how we react to the situation, and whether or not we are prepared for the situation. If we view the stressor as enjoyable, if we react positively and are prepared for the stressor, the results will be enhancing. If, however, we are unprepared, see the situation negatively and react poorly, the results will be detrimental. God created our minds to be able to deal with stress. Furthermore, He knows how much stress we can take before it is too much. He knows this because He created us. Not only that, He knows us so well He can give us a minute by minute count of the hairs on our heads.

So, why can't I get rid of my anxiety? I sit in class and listen to the professor go on and on about effect sizes and formulas and I feel the knot in my stomach spread to become a migraine in my head. I doubt this reaction is performance enhancing. If I were to contact God on my way out of class regarding the number of hairs, He would report at least a 5% loss. It is a good thing I can't do that because then I would worry all the way home about whether or not that number of hairs was statistically significant. As my stats prof would say: "are we in the critical region?"

Uh, um, maybe.

In spite of all that God has done for me, I am an Israelite wandering in the desert of graduate school wondering if He will send manna, again. Never mind the fact He sent it every day before. Forget the miracles, forget the covenant, forget the awesome power of my God, forget the absolute strength and consistency of His promise to me; I am anxious because today might be different; today He might forget to send the manna.

Really? Seriously?

Think again, who does most all of the forgetting in this relationship? Yeah, that's right: me.

What is keeping me from letting go of my anxiety? What prevents me from viewing these classes as a positive thing? Why do the chemicals released in my brain cause harm instead of enhancement? Hmmm, could it be a faith issue?

Ya' think?

12 men went into Canaan to do reconnaissance. Ten reacted to the stress by clinging to anxiety:

And they told him, "We came to the land to which you sent us. It flows with milk and honey, and this is its fruit. However, the people who dwell in the land are strong, and the cities are fortified and very large.

However, two did not:

But Caleb quieted the people before Moses and said, "Let us go up at once and occupy it, for we are well able to overcome it." Numbers 13: 27-28 and 30 ESV

God had prepared all twelve men equally. They had all been beneficiaries of God's strength and fidelity. They had all been to the same Canaan and seen the same fruit and the same fortifications. It was faith that made the difference between what was performance enhancing and what was anxiety causing.

I am venturing into the Canaan of statistics and measurement. I am not seeing the fruits of the land because I am preoccupied with the giants that haunt me. This stress is not any bigger than any other stress I have experienced before. Furthermore, my faith potential is not any less.

"I believe; help my unbelief!" Mark 8:24 ESV

One of those two men who saw Canaan as potential was appointed to replace Moses as leader of God's people. Now there's a stressor for you. He was to replace Moses; he was to lead an especially difficult group of people; and their job was to conquer a land full of giants. God strengthened his faith by commanding him, three times, to be strong and courageous.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua1:9 ESV

Abba, father, Amen.

A Hiding Place

Our cat has found a new hiding place. She tucks herself in between the wall register and the portable radiator heater that actually keeps my office area warm. She finds this spot a great place to sit; occasionally turning around to warm her other side.

When she is feeling adventurous she sits up in the window sill to watch over our backyard. The window sill is much more entertaining and she has a soft spot to sit. But, the windowsill is cold so she eventually returns to her hiding place.

When the temperature situation is at an extreme low, and she is in need of significant cognitive inhibition, she burrows under the blankets on our bed. I can relate.

We all need a hiding place at some point in our lives. Some of us need one nearly every day. I am an introvert who has learned to interact like an extrovert, but, it takes a lot out of me. I retreat to my room at night and settle in with my computer so my brain can process all the face time I experienced during the day. Some days it is all too easy to spend time in my hiding place. It seems odd to me because I love talking to people and I especially love teaching, but when I think of my "dream job" it usually involves staying at home and working, by myself.

I have been identifying with Moses, lately. Moses would have loved nothing better than to be a shepherd for the rest of his life.

Now the man Moses was very meek, more than all people who were on the face of the earth. Numbers 12:3 ESV

Extroverts are the ones who would enjoy running for public office, yet God chose Moses. A leader of thousands planning to escape slavery and begin a new nation would need oratory skills that could persuade, yet God chose Moses. This job was going to require someone who could influence, inspire, and interface, yet God chose Moses; a man who was more comfortable leading sheep than a nation. Moses didn't want the attention; he wanted long hours alone to think. Moses didn't want the prophet's staff that performed miracles; he was happy with the shepherd's staff that guided sheep. Moses, who as a young man, walked away from a position of great power and leadership; begged to not be appointed to the task of God's calling. Yet, God chose Moses.

One of my advisor's favorite research topics is the development of talent and expertise. We assume that the truly great performers of our time where born with great talent. There is nothing to indicate that is true. Research done on people with great expertise points instead to arduous work and years of practice before any expertise even begins to show. Even Mozart, who began composing at the tender age of six, did not produce anything of merit until he had worked at it for 10 years.

God shows us that He can take any one of His children and create a leader, an expert, a servant of God. He can provide us with the abilities we need and He makes use of not only our hard work, but our miserable failures.

We have all become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous deeds are like a polluted garment. We all fade like a leaf, and our iniquities, like the wind, take us away. Isaiah 64:6 ESV

Here is a paradox of our faith and life: all our work is polluted, all our talents are useless, but, God uses us anyway. He turns our flailing efforts into success for His kingdom. And He does this even if we would prefer to be in our hiding place. Hit fits us for the task he sets before us. So when people remark: "I don't know how you can do it," you know that God is the reason behind your work and ministry. And when you lament: "I don't think I can do this," you know that the simple fact that God chose you, is why you can do the work.

You are my hiding place and my shield; I hope in your word. Psalm 119:114 ESV

As you can imagine, while I am writing this I am sitting in my hiding place. My brain and heart are calm and my God is with me as I walk through his word. In a few hours I will need to go to class and tomorrow I teach. I will come home tired and wanting to retreat. I cannot speak for my efforts in either classroom. I see God working in the lives of my students, but I also intensely feel my mistakes. I sit in class and feverishly take notes, but my current classes are all statistics classes and I am afraid my math skills are on a par with Moses' speech impediment. Yet, God chooses for me to be here. He is my hiding place. He is my strength. He is your strength.

"Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid; for the LORD GOD is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation. Isaiah 12:2 ESV

Plowing Through

This semester was one of THOSE kinds of semesters; one of the times in my life where I had to just put my head down, and plow through it. I was snowed-in with work; I took three classes with a total of 48 chapters and close to 100 journal articles of reading. I had four papers to write, (one that I rewrote for a better grade,) 5 presentations, and two major projects to complete. I watched my advisor teach his class and then taught that lesson to two other groups, twice a week, and I lesson-planned and graded for 80 students. I also started working on a Doctoral Seminar project that I don't actually get credit for until next semester. I even presented at two different conferences, including one that was a five hour presentation. On top of that my mother had successful surgery implanting a pacemaker. (Thank you, God!).

It was the kind of semester, much like being snowed-in, where you continue unaware of what is going on around you. I came out of the semester realizing that my daughter had managed to graduate from UNL. Thankfully, she and her good friend Tiffany had party plans under control. It is not a semester that I would have planned! It is not a semester that I could have survived – on my own. It is one of those significant times in my life when I felt God at my side, keeping me alert, giving me insights, calming my heart, and lifting me up to receive His strength. I fear there are more of these semesters to come.

It occurs to me how easy it is to wrap oneself up in the busy-ness of life; how easy it is to focus only on what weighs you down and not on the road ahead or on the loved ones around you. I buried myself in a drift of snow and don't even have a snow fort to show for it. Many of the professors, with whom I work, have an amazing ability to block out everything around them in order to focus. They are also very good at protecting themselves from outside work. This is part of what helps them to achieve what they do in their respective fields. However, it is also what keeps some of them from realizing that there is a real world out there: a world of people who are interesting, a world of people who are hurting, a world of real problems to wrestle with and learn from. I have had my taste of being buried under that kind of snowdrift. Do I like it? Not so much.

God created us to be in fellowship. He created us to look to Him for all we need and to look to others for opportunities to use our faith and to be blessed by the faith of others. He didn't put us on earth to live in separate offices. He gave us each a family, by our birth and by our rebirth in His church. My Bible reading has me in Exodus. I tend to slide through the last chapters. The excitement of the first few chapters makes the painfully precise description of the building of the tabernacle rather slow reading. It is amazing to think about the skill and care that went into their house of worship. It needed to be a place to meet God and to meet with each other and it needed to be portable. Later, Solomon's temple became the place everyone returned to during Passover. It was a beautiful place of fellowship; fellowship with God and fellowship with the children of God.

There are many of us in the Midwest digging out from under huge drifts of snow. May God bless this time as a time of rest and renewal. May God then send us out to be in fellowship with Him and with His children.

Then the cloud covered the Tent of Meeting, and the glory of the LORD filled the tabernacle.

Exodus 40: 34

If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from His love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Philippians 2: 1-2

Wait, what am I supposed to be doing?

I just got back from an errand run. I intended to mail a birthday package to a friend, drop off a coat at the dry cleaners, and deliver a stool sample to the vet. I got home and stopped to wonder if I actually got everything to the right place. Surely, the vet would have said something if I dropped off my thrift shop find there, but, I sure hope I didn't accidentally mail my friend the stool sample. I think, maybe, I have too many things on my mental list and some practical awareness ability is starting to go.

Oh, good, the vet just called; my wool coat has a bacterial infection.

It feels like the semester has barely begun and yet midterms are right around the corner. I have lots of papers due and projects to start, and grading to complete. It is also time to get ready for next semester in terms of picking classes to take and class time slots for teaching. I create a list of things to do and sit down and wonder where to start. Next week, I fly to Oregon to present at a teacher's conference. I am relieved, that while I am on that trip, I will only be responsible for one thing at a time. I am blessed to have Paul come along to drive. In my present condition (Old age? Grad student dementia?) I didn't think even MapQuest could get me from the airport to the conference center, nearly 2 hours away. I had a feeling I would get on some highway and not stop until I realized I was in Alaska.

Wait, did I just see former Gov. Palin? I think I made a wrong turn somewhere.

I sit at my desk in my office and nervously check my schedule. What time is it? Where should I be? What should I be doing? I manage to make sure I show up to the right classroom at the right time to either teach or learn, but, just barely. I find myself slowly becoming more and more like my advisor who looked up at me the other day and asked "what building is it that I teach in, again?"

Seriously, I kid you, not.

No, really, he did. And this man is my mentor. Even though it is a long time away, yet, I hope we both make it to my dissertation defense.

My life is full of busyness, confusion, and barely hanging on. My life is full of disorder, but my God is not.

For God is not a God of disorder, but of peace. I Corinthians 14:33

In the midst of all my confusion, I can have peace, because of the orderly, thoughtful, complete, nurturing, redemptive love of my Savior and God. My life is a mess with decisions and responsibilities, surrounded by my weaknesses and inadequacies. My world is a mess with sin and grief. Yet, in that sin and grief I know that my God orders my days, protects me from harm and leads me to the place I need to be; by His side.

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you. Psalm 32:8