The phone rang at a familiar time of the day.
"This is Dorris. I am
at some sort of hotel, I don’t know where, and I need someone to come pick me
up."
I responded in an equally familiar way:
"You are not at a hotel, you are in your room."
"I am?"
"Take a look around. Do
you see your things?"
"Yes, I see my couch and my clothes and my pictures, but . .
."
"Nothing seems familiar, does it?"
"No."
Earlier in the day my mother-in-law had suffered through a long eye doctor
appointment and now that she was waking from her nap, she was lost and confused. It is
interesting to me that she easily recognizes her things, and often comments
that she has her furniture at this "hotel" but, still insists that she doesn’t
live there.
One time she remarked that some salesman had made a mint
selling black couches, because she explained, " there is a black couch, just
like this one, in every hotel room I stay at."
What an unsettling way to live. Familiar objects surround
her, but nothing feels familiar. Her
brain no longer connects emotions to what she sees. We count on these matching emotions to make judgements about the world around us. Even as early as a year ago Dorris was calling
from her home of nearly 50 years and insisting that she was lost.
Thankfully, she is blessed with the ability to trust those
who care for her. Even though things don’t feel familiar, she is reassured that
she is indeed where she belongs.
Some days I read the news and wonder why the world seems
like such an unfamiliar place. Even though I sin continually, this sinful world
does not feel like home. I cannot
stop myself from sinning, but every fiber of my being wants to be in a sinless
place. This is a desire born of faith, a desire put into my heart by the Spirit
at my baptism. It is an unrelenting desire, and I cling to it.
This world that values materialism over concern for
humankind, this world that tries to solve problems with violence and pride,
this world that leaves its inhabitants without hope, without joy, without love.
My life, my actions, my thoughts - my sins- tell me I belong here.
But, this world is not my home.
Dorris trusts me when I reassure her that she is where she
belongs. I trust that my Heavenly Father knows the plans He has for me. I trust
that He prepares a room for me and that one day I will be home, where I belong.
Thank you, Father, for creating this home, for giving me the
desire to live there, and the trust that you will one day bring me home.
Brothers, join
in imitating me, and keep your eyes on those who walk according to the example
you have in us. For many,
of whom I have often told you and now tell you even with tears, walk as enemies
of the cross of Christ. Their end is
destruction, their god is their belly, and they glory in their shame, with minds
set on earthly things. But our
citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our
lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to
subject all things to himself. (Philippians
3: 17-21 ESV)
