Sometimes Dr.
Phil has a great turn of phrase. One of my favorites is
I
used that one with kindergartners and university students, alike. I am not sure
I made any kind of a difference, but it was fun to say.
Another one that works well for me to mentally recite before opening my mouth:
While Dr.
Phil’s famous quips gain him high viewer ratings, and for all I know might be
excellent therapy advice, they are most certainly lopsided theologically.
Dr. Phil is
all about the law. It’s often smart law, but it is law, all the same.
The therapy
we get from God includes both law and grace and that is infinitely more effective.
I really
noticed this truth about grace in the clip. Dr. Phil is working with a teen, apparently
engaged in some unsafe tattoo practices. He talks with her about being safe
instead of being stupid. He does not seem to be getting anywhere with that line
of reasoning so he asks Kat Von D to chime in.
Kat's response
is completely different. She draws on her experiences as a teen and reminds the
young girl that even though her mother sounds like a “mother” it’s is simply
because she loves her. In a few
sentences she has the young girl seeing her mother in a new light. I don’t know
if the determination to get tattoos changed but she sure seemed more open to
waiting until she was 18 and proceeding safely. It did not surprise me to find out Kat's parents are missionaries because she countered law with grace. And grace made
all the difference.
It is a
challenge to know when to apply law and when to apply grace. It is easy to
assert that a confident sinner needs law and a contrite sinner needs grace, but
we can’t see into the heart of an individual. This young girl seemed like a
confident sinner rebelling by disobeying her mother. But, perhaps she was
secretly condemning herself.
When I teach
future teachers about classroom discipline I like to make the point that if a
discipline technique is not working do not follow up with more of the same. If
a punishment is not working it is not likely that a more severe punishment will work. Likewise, if a
reward does not work, a larger one is not likely to be more effective.
Although, if
United Airlines is willing to pay
thousands of dollars to get me off the plane that WILL work.
The bottom
line is if rewards and punishments (both law, by the way) are not working you
have to try something else. In the classroom that usually involves finding out what
motivates the student. For example, if a student is motivated to avoid a behavior
because of fear, than no amount of punishment or reward will change that. The fear
needs to be addressed. For that, grace will make all the difference.
Romans
chapter eight has much to say about what law can and cannot do:
There is therefore now no
condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For
the law of the Spirit of life has set you
free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not
do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin,
he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be
fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the
Spirit. For those who live
according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those
who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit.
For to set the mind on the flesh is
death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. Romans 8: 1-6
Law has its purpose in our lives. It
brings us to our knees so we realize our need for forgiveness. It keeps us in
check, and it gives the forgiven Christian a rightful path. But it does not have
the power to change us. Only God’s grace can do that. Grace changes us from a
condemned sinner to a Spirit filled child of God. Jesus conquered our
rebellious disobedience when He gave His life on the cross. We still need the
law, but we no longer walk under its condemnation. We walk in the peace of
grace and forgiveness.
Not even Dr. Phil can top that.
Go in peace, your sins are
forgiven. How’s that workin' out for ya?
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