Locus of Control

We started last Sunday’s Bible study with this Bob Newhart clip. Or rather, I summarized the clip as we were having internet difficulties. In the clip a woman complains to Bob of her many phobias. What is his advice? He simply tells her to “Stop it!” On one level, this advice seems to make sense, yet we know it can’t work otherwise we could all solve our problems by just stopping.

We could just stop worrying. We could just stop whining. We could just stop self-medicating. We could just stop sinning. Then life would be just great.

We can’t just stop it because even though we think we are in control; we are not.

The psychology concept we looked at is called locus of control. In this theory some people have an external locus which means they believe that their lives are out of their control. They think things are controlled by fate. While these folks tend not to worry or fret, they also see little point in planning or working on change.

The second group has internal locus of control and works from the idea that they can control what happens by working hard. They believe that what happens in their life is controlled by their own actions. While these folks tend to be successful in life, they also have a habit of blaming themselves for things that are not under their control.

I recently heard a scientist say that plants don’t have brains because they can’t move. They have complete external locus of control because there is nothing they can do about their situation, anyway. Animals and humans can move, so we need brains to enable us to make decisions.

The question we discussed was whether or not Christians are internal or external when it comes to control. The answer is not an easy one.

Christians are considered external because we believe that God controls what happens in our life. However, we behave as internal people because we work hard and make plans to change.

I like to think that we are neither external nor internal; we are eternal.

God gave us His law and wrote it in our hearts. We are conceived in sin and proceed through our lives breaking that law on a continuous basis. God sent His Son to live a perfect life and to die and rise again. In this one event we are saved from what we deserve. The control of our salvation is with God and God alone.

But God does not leave it at that. He wants blessings for us in our present life as well as eternal life with Him. He sends His spirit, and through the act of sanctification, works His good in us. We have freedom of will, we have choice, and we can work on things. Anything good that happens in our life is due to the work and blessing of God.

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 2 Corinthians 4: 7-9 NIV

We try to take control of our life and we create havoc. No wonder we are crushed, perplexed and in despair. God creates a treasure in us and molds us into jars suitable for His work.

The power of conformity

This past Sunday I had the privilege of starting a new Bible study at our church. It is called "This is Your Brain on God." It is my goal, for each week, to examine psychology theory about humans through the lens of Law and Gospel.

The first lesson was on the power of conformity. We began with this vintage Candid Camera clip. It is a short and hilarious clip of Candid Camera people standing the wrong way in an elevator. In each clip the unsuspecting participant turns the wrong way, too. It is funny because we see ourselves in the clip. We know that we often follow the crowd, even if it is going in the wrong direction.

Well, God made us this way, so He must have done it for a reason. Of course, as sinners we always distort God's perfect plan.

A wise friend in the class pointed out that we have three ways to conform; to the world, to God's Will, or to our own idea of what is right.

Experiments done around 50 years ago by Solomon Asch help us to understand several things about conforming:

1. If there are at least three people doing the same thing, we are highly likely to follow them.
   
2. Some people actually convince themselves that they are wrong when they follow the crowd.
   
3. Some people know the crowd is wrong but follow anyway because they don't want to "make waves."
   
4. We are less likely to follow the crowd if we have at least one person who agrees with us.
   

   
   

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12: 11-2 (ESV)

In this verse we see part of God's plan for creating us as conformers. We are expected to conform to the will of God. He gave us the ability to do this. However, we miserably fail at that expectation and instead conform to the world. This gets us into big trouble. We align ourselves with people who encourage us to deny our faith. We follow a group that points us away from God and toward sin.

In this verse we are expected to present our bodies as a living sacrifice. We are not to face the wrong way in an elevator, but to face the opposite direction of the world. Because of the sacrifice of God's Son, we become an acceptable sacrifice. Because of the work of the Spirit we are transformed toward what is good and acceptable and perfect. We face the right direction because He turns us toward Himself. We no longer suffer from the distortion of judgment or the fear of being different. In Christ we can give glory for the difference of being God's child.

Remember the last in the list of what we know about conforming: we are less likely to follow the crowd when we have at least one person facing the crowd with us. Fellowship with believers is a gift of God, also.

I encourage you to be in the Word; to attend church and participate in the sacraments. These are things that cause our faith to grow. I also encourage you to engage in fellowship with believers. Indulge in that particular need to conform! Stand with your believers in worship, study and service.

When that elevator door opens you will be ready to go and serve.

Abba, Father, Amen.

A good book

This is my summer to read. I am reading a long list of books that have been collecting in a pile by the side of the bed. The other day, I realized that I had read over a dozen research methods and statistics books over the last three years. This is way more than any one human should have to endure. So, I promised myself a summer of reading things that are less analytical.

My first book of the summer was one by Lisa Delpit called Other People's Children: Cultural Conflict in the Classroom.

Go easy on me, I have to wean off of academic books slowly; I will be back to Dr. Seuss by August.

This author worked in New Guinea helping them to develop language and culture sensitive pre-school programs. While I admit, that fact may not be interesting to everyone, she tells a fascinating story about the native people of New Guinea and their early interactions with missionaries. The missionaries were surprised to discover that there was a strong interest in learning to read. The set about teaching people to read the Bible and happily gave them copies to keep. The students took their Bibles down to the docks, tore pages from them and handed them to those unloading ships with expectations that they would be given valuable cargo in return. They expected this because they saw the missionaries receive such cargo when they handed over papers with words. When they found out that their pages held no such magic, they crumpled them up and threw them away in disgust.

They looked to the words of the Bible to bring them good fortune. They thought the words of God were some sort of magic that would create wealth and fulfill their desires. They thought they had the ticket to happiness, if only they could read and use those pages.

As I think about the crumpled pages blowing down the beach in the wind, I think about how easy it is to misuse, misunderstand and mistake God's word. It is not that His word is unclear; it is in fact, abundantly clear. It is not that His word is ineffective; we know that it never returns empty. It is not that His word is less powerful in our hands. God's word is God's word, regardless of who reads it. It is as powerful as its author and is understandable through the work of His Spirit.

So why do we think God's word will bring us fame and fortune? Why do we think His word, if magically applied, will make all of our trials and tribulations disappear? Why do we continue to believe that the efficacy of God's word depends, somehow on us; on how we use it; on how we interpret it; on how we want it to work?

I don't know, for sure, but I think the answer's got to be sin, or pride, or maybe both.

God's word will do what God determines; no more and no less. It has nothing to do with us and it has everything to do with us. We cannot bend the word of God to our wants and desires any more than those who hoped the Bible pages could be traded for cargo. However, we do benefit from God's will: our faith grows. God's word is not our tool to make things happen or to prevent what we do not want. It is God's word; no more and no less. And that is enough.

I read a face book question recently asking for parenting advice. The responses were numerous and not surprising until I got to one that had a peculiar formula. This individual felt that the best parenting advice was to read the catechism with his children every morning and every evening. He had a long response with many Greek words to justify his position. It was his stated goal to counteract the influence of the modern world by surrounding his children with the words of Luther.

Now, I am a big fan of Luther and I taught the catechism to many children (including my own) for years as a teacher. I think there is much wisdom in that book and recommend it for study. However, I found this man's parenting advice to be a bit one-sided.

It was all law and no gospel.

We cannot take God's word, (or Luther's interpretation and explanation of it) and perform it like a formula in order to direct good things. That is law and law cannot save us.

The realization that God's word will accomplish what He wills, without our input or performance, is grace.

So, am I saying parents should not bother reading the Bible or the catechism with their children? NO! Each of us should study God's word, good books that help us to understand God's word, and prayers and hymns that enable us to praise God. Furthermore, we should do this on a daily basis.

It is just not a formula for getting what we want – a good job, attention, happy, successful kids, or anything else that might be on our wish list.

We read God's word because it is God's word, and we let it nourish us in the way He intended. This is law balanced with grace. This is joy.

"For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall My word be that goes out from My mouth; it shall not return to Me empty. But it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it. For you shall go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and the hills before you shall break forth into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands. Isaiah 55: 10-12 (ESV)

The comfort of a mother

For thus says the LORD: "Behold, I will extend peace to her like a river and the glory of the nations like an overflowing stream; and you shall nurse, you shall be carried upon her hip, and bounced upon her knees. As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you; you shall be comforted in Jerusalem. You shall see, and your heart shall rejoice; your bones shall flourish like the grass; and the hand of the LORD shall be known to his servants, and he shall show his indignation against his enemies. Isaiah 66: 12-14

It is a tough road to walk when a parent must watch her child suffer. I remember praying over the feet of my three year old as they stuck out of an MRI machine when we were trying to get a diagnosis for his seizures. I remember holding each of my children as they cried and told me about bullying at school. And I have hugged my daughter, and wiped away her tears, many times this year as she has struggled to serve God in the place He has provided for her.

My daughter Anne loves her students. She teaches immigrant children music and art and they love her. She teaches two subjects that are able to transcend language and culture differences. Two subjects where they can praise God, learn, communicate, and be successful. Even the school custodian likes to slip into her room, on occasion, "to watch those children enjoy learning." Anne has worked long hours, donated nearly all of her free time to write curriculum, and a chunk of her salary to provide her 100 plus students with ways to enjoy God's world and ways to share His love.

And now she has to tell them she will not be back to teach next year.

The principal and the Priest at her school, different people from the ones who hired her, decided her job is really part-time and have cut her salary for next year by almost 40% without reducing her teaching load. She can't live on that, and pay her student loans; without a significant reduction in her workload she would not be able to make up her income with a second job, so she declined the contract.

I have two friends, who like my daughter have served God in the places God put them. These friends find themselves kicked out into the cold, too. I know that God has a plan for my daughter and my friends but for now I don't understand why they have to suffer. So I watch, listen and pray.

It is difficult to watch your children suffer. I have friends who have watched their children survive many obstacles: premature birth, loss of a parent, illness, learning disabilities, pain, both physical and emotional. As parents, we fiercely work to defend and protect our children; we are all adamant that we would rather suffer the pain in their stead. But we cannot do that so we watch, listen and pray.

God does not want to see His children suffer. Suffering is not, and never was, His will for us. A pain-free, perfect life in a pristine garden was His will for us, but, we ruined that.

It is hard to watch loved-ones suffer and it is difficult to understand why some people suffer so much more than others, or why some seem to suffer even though they labor to do God's work. It isn't fair, somehow.

God doesn't believe in fair, and thank goodness for that. Fair would mean we each get what we deserve; what is coming to us; our just deserts. But we don't want that, because what we deserve is a punishment we could not survive.

Instead God gives us forgiveness, and grace, and mercy; none of which we deserve.

There is another way in which God is not fair; He doesn't bless each and every one of us with the same amount of faith and strength and courage. Instead He comforts us as we are needful. He comforts us so that our hearts can rejoice, even in our time of suffering.

That is something a mother can understand.

So I will watch and listen and pray for my daughter as God blesses her with forgiveness, mercy, grace and the comfort she needs. And I thank God that He loves her with a love that is much stronger than a mother's love.

The last couple of weeks have been discouraging to my teacher heart. I have seen many reminders that teaching is not a gift or profession that is respected. God reminds me that He does not ask me, or others, to teach for respect or profit. He asks us to teach for Him and that is enough. As I tell my undergrad students, we all teach and learn in some fashion. Be serious about your teaching and learning, especially during this Lenten season. Let God teach you and help you teach others. Let Him provide you with the faith you need. Let Him comfort you.

Watch and listen and pray.

Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness. Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Romans 12: 6-13

In the wrong room

I looked up from my reading and realized that I was in a room with a urinal. This was a bit disconcerting, to say the least.

I have a kidney stone. This, in and of itself, is not a problem. However, the fact that the kidney stone is traveling through my renal system is a problem; a rather painful, pesky problem. I went to see my doctor, who sent me to the CT scan people and then to the Urologist. When I saw the urinal on the exam room wall, for a brief second, I panicked thinking I was back in elementary school and had accidentally slipped into the wrong room. Between the urinal, the posters on the wall, and the fact that the exam table didn't even have stirrups, I felt very much out of place.

We get used to the way things ought to be. When I am stressed, in pain and crabby, I don't want unfamiliar surroundings; I want the comfort of a familiar exam room and a familiar face. However, my regular health care provider does not have expertise in this area, so I find myself in a different world. As long as no one expects me to actually use the urinal, I think I am okay.

My kidney stone is in the wrong place, too. As long as it was hanging out in my kidneys things were fine. Now that it has decided to move to a new location, there is a disruption of all things familiar. It is a solid traveling in a world made for liquids. Funny, how that one difference can cause so much mayhem.

Many times during my weekly routine as a university instructor/ graduate student, I feel like I am in the wrong room. Not just the wrong classroom, or the wrong building, but the wrong life. If I had a nickel dollar for every time I said "what was I thinking?" regarding my decision to enroll in this program, I would have paid my tuition AND fees AND had some left over to cover the cost of textbooks.

Like my kidney stone, I am a solid on a campus full of liquids.

I feel like I am the only one who can't understand the statistics, who confuses vocabulary, or who wants to hand in a reflection paper titled "Huh?" I am too old, too tired, and too slow to learn much of what is around me. I love teaching my undergrad students but even in that class I worry someone will ask me a question I can't answer. It is as if my entire world is full of rooms with urinals and I am in a desperate search for a room with stalls.

I gotta quit talking about bathrooms. No really, I have had at least 2 liters of water today.

It is strange to think that because we are in the world but directed to not be of the world, that God created us to be perpetual aliens; strangers in a strange world. We seek belongingness, but do not find it here. We belong with God in His world, but the "here and now" is where we find ourselves. We are people of faith in a faithless world. We know truth in a world that doubts there is any. We cling to values that are considered, at best, to be passé and at worst to be politically incorrect. We read, cite, sing from, and meditate on a book that has never needed a second edition. We stand in a world full of people looking for the next biggest technical marvel that will solve their problems, but we seek only God.

It is no wonder we occasionally panic.

We are aliens. We are children of God; He knows where we are and why we are here. He is what is familiar and inviting when the world seems strange. We feel at home, when we feel His presence.

We should not be surprised when, as people of faith, we stick out like a sore thumb. We should not be surprised others do not understand us, our words, our actions, or our attitudes. When God shines through us, we look as strange to others as the world feels strange to us.

When you feel like an alien; take heart. When the world gives you a funny look; be encouraged. When you feel like you are in the wrong room or the wrong life; know that you are God's child and His purpose for you will unfold.

Even if you are in the wrong room.

If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. John 15: 19

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world. John 16: 33

And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. Romans 8: 27-29

By the way, if you should find you have a kidney stone, take my advice and DON'T do a Google image search. You may find this.

Ruminations and Reappraisals

Oh how I love Your law! It is my meditation all the day. Your commandment makes me wiser than my enemies, for it is ever with me. Psalm 119: 97-98

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before Him. Ephesians 1: 3-4

And He said to them, "Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father's house?" And they did not understand the saying that He spoke to them. And He went down with them and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them. And His mother treasured up all these things in her heart. Luke 2: 49-50

Some people go through life without a thought or care. Others of us tend to analyze everything we do.

During the years I was blessed to teach kindergarten I remember watching the boys dive into play with few words and little planning and watching the girls verbally discuss and plan every detail to the point where they barely did any playing.

For those of us who spent a large segment of our "doing" time thinking and analyzing we have two ways we can accomplish this chore; we can ruminate or we can reappraise.

When we ruminate we churn things over and over in our minds. We examine every detail, over-praise and over criticize. In ruminating, we see ourselves as being in the center of everything and responsible for all.

Ruminating highly correlates with depression and anxiety. This does not mean that ruminating causes depression or anxiety, or that we can diagnose ourselves, as such, if we find ourselves ruminating. It just means that ruminating often occurs with depression and anxiety. When you ruminate you replay, over and over, the worries and disappointments of the day. In this way, cause yourself to feel sad and worrisome longer.

It is hard to see a good side to rumination; unless, of course, you are bovine.

Reappraising is the alternative to chewing your mental cud. When you reappraise you practice reinterpretation and mindfulness. Instead of reliving the worry, sadness or anxiety over and over, you reinterpret the situation looking for the positive aspect. Then you add to that by practicing mindfulness which is a way of being aware of what is happening and separating yourself from it. New fMRI studies are showing that rumination and reappraisal are accompanied by visible changes in our brains.

So, when we feel sad or worried and we think maybe our repetitive thought are driving us crazy we don't need to worry because it's not just all in our head . . . no wait, maybe it is . . . hmmm, I mean we aren't just imagining this, it is really something that happens . . . or is it? I guess it is happening in our brains but, yet . . . um, I think I am ruminating on this issue. Let's move on.

Whenever I learn a new idea from the world I like to re-examine it through the eyes of faith. And because I am a well-trained Lutheran I usually see things through the lens of law and grace.

Let's try rumination as law and reappraisal as grace.

When we look at our lives in the spirit of the law we can see only what we do wrong and because we have no hope of meeting the demands of the law, on our own, these thoughts sow seeds of despair.

When we look at our lives in the spirit of grace we can be mindful of the fact that God is aware of our wrongs and saves us from them through the redeeming blood of His Son. Through our God-given faith we can begin to see the good that God will bring out of everything that happens to us. We are also confident of the ultimate good found in our salvation.

Now, psychology would tell us to avoid rumination at all costs and to only engage in reappraisal. But, psychology can't save us.

I have known people, like myself, who can wallow in our own mental cud and waste our days ruminating over every little thing. We are not a happy group. People do not want to be around us. We are major party-poopers.

Yet, I have also known people who rewrite everything as not being their fault; convincing themselves they have no need to change or grow. They are not mindful of their own responsibility. They don't see a need to be saved.

Faith tells us we need both law and grace. We need to be mindful of our sin. We need to feel the guilt of what we have done and of what we have left undone.

But God knows we can't stay there. We need to also be mindful of His love and mercy. We need to re-examine the truth that we cannot save ourselves. We need to remember that Salvation has already been won. We need to feel God's forgiveness, and in turn forgive ourselves and those who have hurt us. We need to meditate on this, feel the blessings of this truth, and treasure it in our hearts.

Turn the corner to Christmas

And while they were there, the time came for her to give birth. And she gave birth to her firstborn Son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn. Luke 2: 6-7

Mary and Joseph turned many corners on their journey to Bethlehem. All the way from the acceptance of the news of the impending birth of a savior to a virgin, to turning the corner behind the Inn only to see the feeding trough that would hold the Savior of the world.

And they went with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the Baby lying in a manger. Luke 2:16

The shepherds in the field that quiet night did not even know a corner was in their future. They traveled from their field around the twists and turns of Bethlehem in order to be the first visitors to see the Baby born to bring us peace.

And going into the house they saw the Child with Mary, his mother, and they fell down and worshiped Him. Matthew 2:11

Think for a moment of all the turns made by the magi as they followed the prophesies turning down the road to Bethlehem. What did they think of the Toddler whose face peeked around the corner? Were their hearts filled with joy upon the realization that this Savior sought them, too?

Two thousand years later our children are turning a corner to see the splendor of Christmas. We approach this season, each year, knowing that whatever the year has brought us, the love of God, as seen in the tiny babe wrapped tightly in a blanket, can turn our hearts to joy and hope.

He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation. Mark 16:15

In our world, today, there are many who hide behind the corner of despair. This is not God's plan for any of His people. The saving work of His Son brings us forgiveness and salvation. The faith-building work of the Spirit moves us to take the Gospel message to every corner of the earth.

Abba, Father, Amen.