Rest for the Weary

In the past few weeks, I have had several conversations, both in-person and via social media, about a dementia diagnosis. Some of these conversations are about relatives, some about friends, all of them sobering. Because of my life experience, I think not only about the one diagnosed, but also about the loved ones who are looking at a long journey of care.

It is not just a memory challenge diagnosis that creates caregivers. It could be an illness where the result will not be known until after months of treatment or a diagnosis where the outcome will not change, but the uncertainty is found in what skills will be lost and when these losses will happen. It doesn’t matter if the diagnosis is handed to a spouse, a child, a parent, or a dear friend; in that instant, both a care receiver and a care giver have taken each other’s hand and begun a journey neither of them requested.

 

Recently, I was involved in an engaging social media discussion regarding speculation on Jesus’ voting preferences. Those participating chose wisely to avoid this issue and instead comments veered off in a different direction. I was struck by one person’s response where he asserted all of his votes spoke to a single issue. I found this a good place to drop out of the online discussion. But the idea of “single-issue” did provide much to think about on my morning walk.

 

Is Jesus a single-issue Savior?

 

In the politics of His time, the Pharisees were indeed single-issue people. Their mission was control, and this was reflected in everything they did from counting steps on the Sabbath to their questions attempting to trick Jesus.

 

Jesus was undoubtedly single-issue in terms of his mission. He came to seek and save the lost. However, His ministry was not limited to a single issue. He did not return illness to the woman healed by touching the corner of His robe, telling her that her Salvation was all she needed. He did not forgive the lame man and then walk away from the man's paralysis. Nor did He do no more than reassure the widow that her dead son was in a better place. Jesus was concerned with issues of this life as well as the outcome of the next life.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

Consider the promises of this verse. When we leave the burden of our sin to Jesus, He replaces it not only with forgiveness, but rest. He does not say, “Your sins are forgiven; I leave you to live the rest of your poor miserable lives." 

He gives rest.

We may choose to ignore rest, preferring to cling to our guilt and shame, but Jesus cares how we feel when we are forgiven. He cares about our current life.

Caregivers and their loved ones live with an everyday, realistic, nitty-gritty view of both this world and the next. A devastating diagnosis draws your attention to the next life. The comfort of Salvation won for you by Jesus Christ takes on a more striking meaning when conversations with doctors include the reality of death. However, while such a diagnosis makes heaven a real topic, it also involves so much that will happen here in this life. The caregiver needs rest as much from the labors of the world as from the burden of sin. 

Jesus gives us rest.

Jesus is not a single-issue Savior. He loves us, now, in our sin and in our failures. His Work and Word address both our sins and our weaknesses. His love for us forgives our sins, relieves our burdens, and offers us a rest that brings joy out of weariness.

If you are a caregiver, I pray God’s blessings on your ministry. May He give you strength and rest along with the blessed assurance of Salvation.

Weary Joy: The Caregiver’s Journey

Bitterness

As soon as I opened the file, I could feel the bitterness rising in me. Maybe it was the impersonal greeting [INSERT FACULTY MEMBER’S NAME]. Perhaps it was the realization that the title of adjunct is discouraging enough without the new adjective of “unranked.” Possibly it was the two pages of provisions and requirements connected with a contract where the university wants both my commitment and their right to offer no guarantee.

It’s probably not so much about this letter as it is about experience with a long list of universities.

• Low pay that can be cut in half if the university fails to recruit enough students, or can be canceled without any notification.

• Expectations of work without a contract because of the wait for enrollment to increase, no gas allowance for out-of-town locations, no desk copy of the textbook, no help to pay for teaching materials, and good luck finding your way around technology.

• Letters that have long lists of what is expected of me, of what I am not eligible for because I am not legitimate faculty, and references to mysteriously absent handbooks.

• My slow but sure realization that excellence in teaching is not appreciated and in one case got me in trouble because my evaluation numbers were higher than the numbers of the person who hired me.

Yeah, I’m a bit bitter.

It is not so much about being mistreated as it is about being stuck. I am a fairly pragmatic person who when faced with a problem immediately looks for what I can do to make it better. But this situation can’t get better. Universities need to squeeze out as much revenue from graduate programs as possible, and contract instructors are a dime a dozen. If I were going to make this work, I would have to become satisfied with doing a sloppy job so I could improve the work to pay ratio. I would have to learn to play the game.

But instead, I feel bitter. And I must confess that sometimes bitterness feels good. Bitterness comes when I think I am purely a victim with no accountability for my actions. Bitterness feels justified when I think I have tried everything I can to remedy the situation and still it persists. Bitterness tells me that it’s all about me and my pain, and my perceived injustices. Bitterness can be as addictive as anger, or hate, or self-pity.

When I turn to scripture to seek a remedy for bitterness God’s word is both clear and condemning. These verses from Ephesians show me there is no justified bitterness.

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you are sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:30-30 ESV

It looks like the bitterness option is off the table; likewise anger, slander, and even clamor. If I can’t spew anger, call people names, and cry out for sympathy then there isn’t any point. Or so it would seem from what the world tells me.

My bitterness grieves God. Jesus died for my redemption, and my bitterness says that amazing gift is not enough. It tells God I would prefer to model the behaviors I see on social media than live in the grace of God’s love for me. God is not telling me I cannot be sad. He gave us emotions to help us learn, to help us understand each other and to help us understand ourselves. But,when I turn that sadness, or frustration into bitterness, I am no longer looking to God for help. Not only that, but bitterness is one step away from contempt and contempt destroys relationships. Bitterness is as unhealthy as it is ungodly.

Instead, God asks me to be kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving. The world tells me this is not a healthy response. I should stand up for myself, seek confrontation, and believe in myself. If I don’t look out for me, no one will.

I will search for the lost and bring back the strays. I will bind up the injured and strengthen the weak, but the sleek and the strong I will destroy. I will shepherd the flock with justice. Ezekiel 34: 16 NIV

Here the scriptures tell me that God’s way is not the way of the world. My bitterness can lead to no good. My reliance on God, my realization of His love and protection, and my trust in His righteousness will lead to all the good I need.

I have been reading The Screwtape Letters with a group of friends, and one idea I found in this book that was new for me was that sometimes our misery is part of our service. It is not that God wants us to be miserable. It is not even that we deserve to be miserable (which we do.) It is learning how to trust God to shepherd His flock with justice -- even when we are miserable.

Bitterness is not mine any more than vengeance is mine. My work is to eat the grass, stay close to my flock, and listen for the Shepherd’s voice.

Behold our shield, O God; look on the face of Your anointed! For a day in Your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere. I would rather be a door keeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of wickedness.For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor. No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly. O LORD of hosts, blessed is the one who trusts in You! Psalm 84: 9-12 ESV

 

Lessons from Ireland: Useful

This picture is a recreation of a famous Chi Rho from the Book of Kells. The Book of Kells housed at Trinity College in Dublin was one of the incredible things we got to see in Ireland. It is thought to have been created by monks in around 800AD.  It was a labor of love to create it, and another labor of love to preserve it from the perils of Viking attacks and the exposure of time. These superbly crafted copies of the four Gospels tie us to a group of fellow Christians from many years ago. We may not understand all of the symbolism but we do know is that these Christians honored the name of Christ as we seek to do the same in our worship and in our life.

The word of God connects us to people from an age far older than 800AD. Scripture is how God speaks to us, and it nurtures our faith while teaching us how to live each day in a way that honors Him.This past Sunday our pastor shared a bit of Greek with us in connection to our Epistle reading in I Corinthians. The word he taught us was Chréstos, translated as kind in the following passage:

But earnestly desire the higher gifts. And I will show you a still more excellent way.

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful, it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. I Corinthians 12:31 – 13:7

Pastor Will supplies his cell number at the beginning of the sermon encouraging us to text him. When he explained to us that the Greek word for kind in this passage could also be translated as useful, it made me look at the passage in a whole new way, and I got so excited I tried to text him. But, then it took me so long to type that I realized I was missing other good stuff and changed my mind. Texting during sermons is apparently for a different age demographic.

Why is “love is patient and useful” so much different than “love is patient and kind?” 

Kind is vague. We can be kind without any emotional commitment.   

Kind can be misunderstood. Sometimes when I think I am being kind, my words or actions are not received in the way they are intended. 

Kind can be wimpy. It doesn’t seem to be a characteristic that inspires strength or respect.

But useful. . . That is something altogether different. Useful has to be specific, empathetic, and strong, or the action does not live up to the name. If I help someone by doing something useful I have made a commitment to making their life a little bit better. If I want to be useful, I have to think about what the other person actually needs, rather than what I might be willing to do or say. If I am going to be useful, then I need to make more of an investment in my actions and words.

I really like this translation of Chréstos. “Love is patient and useful” is my new favorite verse.

Now, what I was thinking during the sermon -- the idea that I couldn’t text to Pastor because my thumbs type slower than my brain thinks -- was what if we applied this to social media posts?

When Christians are on social media, we have ample opportunity to show love. However, social media does not promote the patient side of love, nor the useful side. We too often quickly shoot off a reply or share a meme. Even if what we post is kind, is it useful?

So, what does it mean to show useful love on social media? It is probably easier to start by identifying what is not useful.

Even when we are passionate about an issue -- even when we are right to be passionate about an issue -- it is not useful to post something that is derogatory, simplistic, untrue, or mean.

It’s derogatory if it insults – even if that insult is deserved.

It is simplistic if it discusses a complicated issue and in so doing puts everyone on the other side of the issue in the worst possible light.

It is untrue if it assumes that a group (such as the far left, or the far right) is plotting to destroy all human morals.

It is mean if it speaks law and does not even consider grace. Law without grace is useless.

I know when I have posted things like the examples listed I was convinced that my passion and my “rightness” would magically persuade people to see my truth. I have come to realize that even when I am on the moral side of the issue -- even when scripture supports my view -- my passion is still steeped in sin.

I need grace and so do my social media contacts. We all need forgiveness.

So, how can our love be patient and useful? I suspect it has to do with action.

Instead of posting something derogatory about an opposing candidate, I can make sure I vote and encourage others to do the same.

Instead of posting something untrue, I can seek out information on the other side of the issue to learn more about the people who believe what I do not believe.

Instead of sharing a simplistic meme I can interact, face-to-face, with people who have different convictions than me.

Instead of thinking the ends justifies my meanness, I can step away from my computer (or phone) and do something helpful, something, patient, something kind.

God created preachers to help us understand His word, but He asks all of us to obey and live His word. Our words are nothing. Our actions, when motivated by the realization that we have been forgiven and brought into the family of God, are useful because God makes them so.

The Greek word Chréstos is close to the same word commonly used as the name for a slave. I am no longer a slave to the law. I am a servant of Jesus and my fellow humans. It would benefit me to remember that the chi that starts the word Chréstos connects me to the Chi Rho that is the symbol for Christ. My words, my tweets, my posts, shared memes, and especially my actions, all speak to my understanding of what it means to be connected to Christ. 

So now, faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love. I Corinthians 13:13