Is your life a spiral or helix?

A spiral is an interesting line. When flat it can be referred to as a whirl, when three dimensional it becomes a helix. It is common in both nature and human design, being a symbol for sun, starlight, and even hypnotism. It is a strong and efficient design as found in staircases and it is easy to doodle when one is bored with a lecture. My favorite spirals when I was young were those made by my Spirograph toy. I could sit for hours watching my pen create layers of colors and lines. Perhaps I was unknowingly practicing self-hypnotism.

A spiral could be a good metaphor for our lives. We often feel like we are traveling in a circle with the illusion that we are getting somewhere cruelly dashed as the same sight comes into view, once again. We try to venture into new territory but part of us wants to remain tethered so we simply travel in circles. I believe this describes my journey with sin, quite nicely.

I am losing my love for spirals.

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.
And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good.
As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me.
I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.
For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.
For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.
Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. Romans 7: 15-20

I think I am getting a little bit dizzy.

Now with a helix, the story is a bit different. A helix is a spiral with the center pulled up, like the curved edges on a screw. With a helix you are still traveling in a circle, you are still tethered to the center, but you are making progress by moving in space. If you draw a spiral on a piece of paper, then take a scissors and cut along your line, you can attach a string to the center and hang your helix from the ceiling. It will spin and twirl with the air in the room.

A helix is a more apt metaphor for what our life in Christ can be. We move about our world with our faith tethered to God's word and as we move about we progress ever closer to Him. It is a slow process. It is a careful process. And, in this process we are moved by the breath of the Spirit.

The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands. And He is not served by human hands, as if He needed anything, because He Himself gives all men life and breath and everything else.
From one man He made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and He determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek Him and perhaps reach out for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us. 'For in Him we live and move and have our being. Acts 17: 24-28

In a helix we still struggle with our tribulations and our sins. In a helix we remain tethered to the Word of God. As we move about the world, the faith God has given us will keep us from wandering away. But, in a helix we don't just travel in circles; we make progress. We live and move and have our being; as the Spirit moves us ever closer to Him.

Hardwired for Faith

The PBS Nova show was about chimpanzees and how they learn. Through demonstrations of experiments we saw that chimps can solve problems, work together, use tools and copy the actions of a human, but they do not learn. They may work together accidentally, but they cannot coordinate their efforts. They can copy what they see but are not hardwired to learn. They don't look to each other or to humans as a source of learning. But humans do. In fact, the earliest example we see of this is a baby pointing at something he wants a parent to pay attention to. The baby expects the parent to look and give a response. And the baby will understand when her parent points. A baby chimp will ignore pointing, because its brain does not look to another chimp or human for the purpose of learning. This explains how chimpanzees have developed differently from humans. Of course, according to the scientists, this was all planned and designed by evolution. Funny, I always thought evolution was a theory about a process; I didn't realize it could "plan" or "design."

The experiment was fascinating to watch. The chimpanzees would copy the humans when the answer to solving the puzzle, that resulted in a piece of candy, was not readily apparent. As soon as the answer was made obvious, the chimps stopped copying the humans. When the same activity was tried with children, they followed the directions of the scientists even if they didn't need to. They were learning from the scientists, and they had faith that these adults knew best even if their actions did not match what the eyes observed.

Once our brains and our faith reach a level of maturity that allows us to understand things at a more abstract level, our lives become a constant journey of reclaiming our child-like faith. We see evidence all around us that the world is a sinful, evil place and we are sinners amongst the rest. We know the world is dangerous and possibilities of disaster loom, always, just ahead. The only way we can survive the mess we create, and the mess in which we live, is to cling to the faith given to us. That faith must be the faith of a child. We must be able to hold on to God in spite of what our senses tell us, not because of what they tell us.

We can see evidence of God's love and care, all around us. We experience His healing; we are spared many trials and helped through many troubles. We can see God everywhere, but, we cannot prove Him. Still, He is more than a theory. He is our Designer, Savior, and Comforter. He has hardwired us for faith and learning.

Hold on to instruction; do not let it go; guard it well, for it is your life. Proverbs 4:13

Often our lives take an unexpected turn. Our human side may think we know the wisest course of action, but, through our faith, God tells us otherwise. This is when God helps us to look to Him for learning and direction, in spite of what we see around us. This is when He blesses us with childlike faith. This, I can confidently say, is part of His design!

My youngest child suddenly looks so much older as he asks to borrow the car to run an errand. Then he comes back from a youth choir servant event to show me the 5 pound jawbreaker he got at the Mall. Sigh, he is still my little boy. Likewise, his sister has grown into a fine adult who handles a budget and makes plans for her future. I must admit that I still treasure the times she comes back to me and figuratively sits in my lap asking for a small piece of advice. No matter how big they get, no matter how mature, no matter what adventures await them, I pray they are always blessed with a childlike faith in the Savior who loves them dearly.

He called a little child and had him stand among them. And He said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 17: 3-4

Now Cats

Our cat is 22 years old and she has gone a bit senile. She pretty much sleeps all day with only one exception: 6:00am. When the radio alarm goes off the cat alarm comes on. She becomes a diva, planting herself between us on the bed and howling away.

For this cat, there is no past: even though I have been fed every day for years, today might be different.

For this cat there is no future: why should I believe they will feed me in a few minutes?

For this cat there is only "now". "Now" is hungry and "Now" knows that there are cat-food-giver people in the bed. Although, "now" probably wonders what the people have to be so grumpy about.

If Face Book had a "What Biblical Character are You?" quiz I am sure I would score as an Israelite wandering in the desert.

For the Israelites there was no past: so what if God performed countless miracles and wonders to get us here, what has He done for us, lately?

For the Israelites there was no future: how can a land of milk and honey be better than slavery?

There was only "now": I am tired of eating the same thing and not being allowed to worship what I want to worship. Here are my earrings; make me a golden calf.

That is sooo me.

Never mind what God did to get me into a degree program that people in the Ed/Psych department gently try to talk me out of. Never mind that He has a future planned for me that will bring blessings. What has He done for me, lately? I am a "now" cat; I want everything fixed and easy and wrapped up in a package with a bow. Oh, and I want it "now". Being a "now" cat makes it really hard to trust.

I have been reading Acts and find that Peter has a different kind of ""now"" issue. His is more of a "now" what?" situation. A vision tells him that everything he thought he knew about Jews and Gentiles and segregation was changing. Generations of warnings of no intermarrying, intermingling or interfaithing, was to be set aside for a new future. "Now" was being turned on its head. This was a new kind of trust. This was a new world for faith. This was God's love and mercy for all mankind.

"Surely not, Lord!" Peter replied. "I have never eaten anything impure or unclean." The voice spoke to him a second time, "Do not call anything impure that God has made clean." Acts 10: 14-15

A "what now?" faith is the kind of faith to have. It is a faith that, while it isn't usually ready for a surprise, can handle one none-the-less. It is a faith that can make a 180 degree turn because it is a faith that is ready for the way God's plan unfolds. It is a faith that can respond with the words "Yes, Lord." It is a faith that reminds us that God loves us and cares for our every need. It is a faith that fills our heart with gratitude at the prospect of serving Him. This is the kind of faith God gives us. A childlike faith that moves through life with the confidence that, even though I am clueless about what is going on, this is how things are supposed to happen. This is the faith God gave me at my baptism. This is the faith that the Spirit nurtures when God teaches me through the Word. I was given this kind of faith. The question is: "What have I done to it along the way?"

At that time Jesus said, "I praise you, Father," Lord of heaven and earth, because You have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this was Your good pleasure." Matthew 11: 25-26

Restore my childlike faith that reminds me that "now" is about God, His plan, His love, His mercy, His grace, now.

Walking humbly

It's that time again, when graduation invitations line themselves up along the counter. The smiles on the senior pictures look familiar but my brain replaces the images with the pudgy cheeked five-year-olds of my memory. On the last day of kindergarten, twelve years ago, I assured these children that they would always be my students even if they grew up; and they did.

I recently saw one of my daughter's high school band directors at a local ice cream establishment. He had a momentary look of surprise on his face when I told him Anne would be student teaching this fall. He was a first year teacher when Anne was his drum major so I suspect my announcement might have been his first experience with realizing his former students grow up. He'll get used to it. If I can watch former students grow up, marry, and bring me their babies to hold, he can get used to seeing his teenage students grow to adulthood. Life marches on.

It is still strange to me, as I think of these young people beginning their college and work careers, that I am, once again, a backpack-lugging-note-taking-paper-writing-ID-bearing college student. It still fascinates to me what wonderful twists God weaves into our lives. This past year has been stressful, terrifying, edifying, satisfying, enlightening, and most of all, good. God is good. God is good, all the time. What have I learned, or relearned this past year that I could pass on to those fresh young faces on the graduation invitations? I suspect my message would sound much like my words to them in kindergarten:

1. God loves us, no matter what. God loves us when things are going well. He loves us when we get the job we applied for, when a professor puts a kind comment on a well-done paper and when we find any joy or success on our life. It is easy to remember that God loves us when things are going "our" way. However, it is vital that we remember that God loves us even when we fail, or when we are disappointed by the circumstances of our life.
   
2. God expects us to love each other, no matter what. This means we not only love the people who love us, but, with God's help we also love the people who hate us, who are different from us, who are being hurt by us, or who are in circumstances beyond our control or reach. God expects us to do this and His love is the power by which this is accomplished.
   
3. God is in control. This seems easy to accept, but, in my experience is immensely difficult to live. 99% of my stress comes from my mistaken belief that I can fix, handle, or otherwise survive the pickle I am in. God is in charge, He has the plan, He knows where I am going, and He will see to it that I get there. If He lets us in on the future He has planned that is just icing on the cake. He asks us to walk, with Him, in faith.
   
4. God talks to us and nourishes our faith through His word and sacraments. Seek His counsel in scripture. Read His word, everyday. Pray and seek His forgiveness, everyday. Thank Him for His love and care, everyday. Listen, be still and know He is God.
   
5. The fellowship of believers is a gift from God. Seek and build relationships with other sinners who walk in God's light. Be a blessing to them as they are to you.
   

I pray for these young people, now at their graduation, as I prayed over them when they were in my kindergarten class. I pray that God's will for them will unfold, day-by-day. And even as I pray for God to bless their lives with joy, I know that the sin we bring into the world will guarantee that joy will be made even more intense as it is help up against the pain and sadness that will be an inevitable part of their lives.

God be with us, keep us in Your care. Bless us with peace and strength. Abba, Father. Amen.

 

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1

He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. Micah 6:8

 

 

Thirsty?

They did not thirst when He led them through the deserts; He made water flow for them from the rock; He split the rock and water gushed out. Isaiah 48:21

I tried to do my math homework over my lunch break at work. I had my calculator, my favorite pen, lots of scrap paper and my textbook, but, I couldn’t do it. I had just read the chapter on regression the day before, but, when I looked at the problems I had no clue as to how to even begin the calculations. I forgot to bring my notebook that contained all of the formulas and my barely decipherable scratch mark notes on how to make them work. Reading the chapter and staring at the textbook did me no good. I was lost without my cheat sheet. Even I was stunned by my lack of comprehension for a subject I have been studying with diligence and determination for more than eight weeks. I feel I have made no progress, whatsoever.

Each chapter of the text book has several pages of sample problems to complete. In typical math book fashion, the appendix at the back of the book contains the answers for the odd numbered questions. I categorically, absolutely and resolutely refuse to do the even numbered problems because I can’t check my answers. I don’t like going through this blind. I need constant reassurance that the right answer can be found somewhere.

Going through life solely on trust is harder than it sounds. I want answers, I want comprehension, I want plans, I want knowledge of outcomes I want an easy ride and I want spectacular results. I want, I want, I want. . .

But God says, “Trust Me.”

I spoke with a friend today who marvels at the strength of people who care for family members with chronic illness. She tells me that she knows about this faith stuff and everything, but, still believes she couldn’t handle the tough situation. Yet, what she has shared of her life tells me her faith is helping her handle quite a bit. Her faith and her resilience are stronger than she thinks. God is giving her just what she needs, when she needs it.

Sometimes God does not plant us by a river. Instead He parcels out water at opportune moments. It flows into our lives from unexpected places, at just the right time and in just the right amount. Sure it would be easier if we just lived by a clear stream of refreshing water. However, given our propensity to make ourselves god, we would come to believe that we were supplying all our own needs through our own hard work. Then we would never know how dependent we are on Him. We would never realize the joy of receiving a gift when it is most needed.

It would be easier if I could just understand statistics. It would be easier if I knew where God was headed with my life. It would be easier if many things were true; but it wouldn’t be better.

I will take my stats test with my trusty notebook full of formulas. I will get the grade I get and, one way or another, I will survive this class. God will provide the water, when I need it.

And while I wait to see what plans He has for me, I will learn even more about how much I need Him.

In my Bible reading I found a trickle of water from a prophet with a doomsday message:

The LORD your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17

Good and Faithful Servant

I wrote this devotion just a week shy of a year ago. My friend, David, was called home to Jesus yesterday. I know his suffering is done, his pain is gone, and he rests in the arms of his Savior. We join with his family in grieving over our loss but also in thankfulness for God’s gift to David of a life of Christian love and witnessing. God is good.

Abba Father, please surround his family with your love and comfort.

About the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” that is, “My God, my God why have you forsaken me?”

Matthew 27: 45 ESV

And one of them at once ran and took a sponge, filled it with sour wine, and put it on a reed and gave it to Him to drink. Matthew 27:48 ESV

Then Jesus, calling out with a loud voice, said, “Father, into Your hands I commit my spirit!” Luke 23: 46 ESV

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith. Hebrews 12:1-2 ESV

Agape Love

The infection had made its way to his blood, his fever was high, and after more than 20 years of the ravages of Multiple Sclerosis the prognosis for a meaningful recovery were very slim. The bracelet on his arm read DNR and the empty IV bags indicated that the treatment was for everything but pain, had been stopped.

He was thirsty. The fever and the effort of breathing used up all available moisture in his body. He was so very thirsty. A family member took a sponge on a stick and put it into his mouth. The water on his parched tongue felt good. His lips closed tightly around the stick.

Jesus was thirsty at his death. The sponge lifted to His lips contained vinegar. It brought no comfort. He cried “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” and commended His spirit to His Father.

We have commended our friend and loved one to our Heavenly Father’s care. If this is his time for death, then, it is a good death. In the critical care room at the hospital he is not surrounded by nurses and beeping machines. He is not surrounded by soldiers and enemies. He is surrounded by family and friends, holding his hand, adjusting his pillow, bringing him comfort and care. He is surrounded by a cloud of witnesses as he finishes the race marked out for him; as he looks to Jesus.

His medicine puts him to sleep; offering him respite. When he wakes he sees faces of loved ones all around. As he rests their reminiscing remind him of the stories of his life. It was a good life. It is a good death.

The room is filled with people coming and going, with hugs and hand holding. There are moments of quiet, there are tears, but there is much laughter, too. He was a good and faithful servant. He is ready.

The Pastor stands at the side of the bed. He asks permission to give this child of God back to his Father. The answer is “yes.” One by one, each family member takes his hand and commends him to the faith they share. They set aside their grief to give him permission to let go of their hands and to take the hand of his Savior.

It is hard to call Jesus’ death a good death. He was forsaken, beaten, tormented, in indescribable pain, and weighed down by the burden of our sin. But it was a good death. It was an agape death; God’s perfect love right before our eyes.

Agape means my friend will also have a good death, as will his family members. For now, they will grieve over him and miss him, knowing that agape love will bring them together again, one day, in the arms of Jesus.

Be Careful

I was reading the chapter six in my stats textbook which is an introduction to probability. I didn’t think I needed an introduction to this word having been a teacher and a mother for more than 20 years:

Mom, can my friend spend the night?

Probably.

Teacher, if it stops raining can we go out for recess?

Probably.

See what I mean? I have used the word well over the years. My life experience caused me to approach the practice problems in the back of the chapter with unusual confidence; until I saw question number three:

3. What is the probability of selecting a score greater than 45 from a positively skewed distribution with M=40 and SD=10?

The question itself is more of that stats gobbled-gook that I happily ignore but it was the warning after the question that caught my eye:

(be careful.)

The author of my stats text does not have to worry. I am doing my best to be careful in that class.

In my Bible reading for today I found the following verse that has its own warning:

Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the LORD your God, for He is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and He relents from sending calamity. Joel 2:13

Because our God is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, we can be careful to rend our hearts and not our garments. The stats question was a trick question but God does not trick. He doesn’t want actors who make a show of repentance; tearing clothes and dramatically vowing to repent only to proceed to repeat previous behavior. He wants us to rend our hearts. He wants us to expose ourselves to Him. He wants us to be vulnerable to His love and grace. Then we can feel His abounding love.

I have some good friends sitting in a hospital family room making decisions about a loved one’s care. The statements of probability they hear from the doctor are not good. Their hearts are exposed to their God and they are vulnerable to His love and grace. The decisions they will make are serious and real and so they are being careful.

They are a large and loving family. Their father is being tended to by doctors and nurses and their mother gathers with her daughters and sons. They have each other and this is no small thing: together they pray for their husband, father and grandfather. Together they explain to their children what is happening and together they share their strong faith. Together they work and plan and and sigh and cry as new news from the doctor brings new decisions to be made.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God, Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Hebrews 12: 1-3

They are not alone. This family forms a cloud of witnesses around their husband and father and their friends gather around them in prayer. Hovering above, around and in, this circle of children of God is their heavenly father loving and caring for them. This verse does not tell them to “be careful.” It tells them to throw off their coats and run. It tells them to do this with their eyes fixed on Jesus. He knows how they feel, He knows what they need to do, and He runs the race with them.